To Connect or Not To Connect on Social Media

I received this question from someone in my Referral Masterclass about how to deal with unwanted solicitations on LinkedIn. With her permission, I am sharing our discussion. To set the context, Karen provides caregiving services in the Toronto area.

Here's what Karen asked:

“I get connection requests and meeting requests from LinkedIn. This one message is salesy right away, telling me about a finance strategy that may be good for me, and that he wanted to tell me more about it.  quite annoying :)  

Can I respond with this message?  

‘Thank you for reaching out! I appreciate the information on your services. At the moment, I’m primarily focused on building mutual referral partnerships where we can support each other's networks. If that aligns with your goals as well, I’d be happy to discuss further.’

Is that too rude?  Lol Thoughts?”

First, I love how conscientious Karen is about the other person, caring about how her message will land.

So we’ve all received these “premature solicitations” and not just on LinkedIn. 

As connectors we are always seeking connection. It’s best to not try and teach or correct people on best practices. Simply model it. And there there’s many ways for a connector to respond to someone who is direct and transactional. Here’s 4 ideas to guide you.

1: RESPONDING IS A CHOICE. You are under no obligation to respond to anyone. You are building a better network of people who you want to connect with for mutual gain. Superficial relationships rarely lead to significant business growth. When you are looking to scale your business, you need deeper, more strategic partnerships based on mutual respect and mutual empowerment. Without strong connections, a large network will offer little in terms of actual business growth. Trying to build a questionable relationship can waste a lot of your time better spent with people who want to collaborate. No response is a response. And perfectly okay!

2: DON’T BE SURPRISED. Some people are soloists – that is they prefer to work alone – and some are networkers – they are building a network for their own gain. Neither will be up for mutual empowering relationships. Be aware and learn to discern fast. Don’t be surprised when you are just a transaction in the mind of another as it is quite common. Stick to your commitment to be a connector.

3: BE A CONNECTOR. Keep in mind many people are seeking connection but just don’t know how. Connectors are like bridges, always wanting to connect.  At first you may feel annoyed so let that feeling pass before you respond to someone. Then attempt to connect authentically. Wonder out loud why this person is reaching out to you with a simple response like:

“Thanks for connecting. I’m curious what it is about me that made you reach out. Love to help you so let me know what you need.”

If you can activate the human being in them, they will respond from a more open place. From there you can discover what you can create together.

4. RESPOND WITH KINDNESS: There’s many ways to respond in kind to someone. Here's my suggestion as a response to the transactional message Karen received:

“Thank you NAME for connecting with me and checking to see if I need your services. I am not in need of your services at this time. That said I'm focused on helping people get proper care for their aging parents. I'm wondering if you or anyone you know have parents in need of care-giving services at this time. I appreciate you connecting with me - let's see what we can do together – Karen”

No one can take away your serenity or good heart unless you let them. Be you always. Let the other decide if they want to genuinely connect. If not, it is their choice to make. Stay in your power. Stay focused on your work and how you help people. Keep your intention to have a successful day. Be open to mutually beneficial business relationships.

Overall remember - you don't have to respond to everyone who reaches out. You don’t have to stay connected to anyone on social media. Business relationships are a choice. You will not get a connection with everyone. But the ones you do will make being a connector all worthwhile!

LinkedIn is a business platform. Be professional always. Be a connector always. And the wheat will separate from the chaff on its own. 

I’d love to hear your thoughts on how you respond with transactional folks on LinkedIn and beyond.

Jennifer Beale helps leaders build strategic partnerships for business growth. Her clients call her "the Queen of Connecting," "formidably connected," and an "ace" at matching people. Jennifer cuts through the networking confusion so you build the right connections fast. An award winning networker and event producer, her connection strategies have helped hundreds of business professionals earn hundreds of millions of dollars.

If you want to get more referrals and build strategic partnerships, Jennifer leads workshops, trainings, and interactive keynotes. Her ideas have been featured in major media including the National Post and on Global TV. If you're looking to get bigger results in a shorter amount of time through strategic partnerships, connect with Jennifer at https://www.JenniferBeale.com